Sometimes early in the morning, I pick up the camera and make a few photographs right where I am, which is often in the kitchen. I might wander through the house then, looking for more possibilities. Using the camera before the day’s sensory impressions flood my brain can yield interesting results. The mental filters aren’t all in place yet. The mind is a little more open, a little looser. Often the photographs aren’t particularly good, but results aren’t everything – stimulating one’s aesthetic muscles can be just as important.
1. On the kitchen table.
2. Autumn bouquet.
Since I can remember a keen appreciation for form, light, and color has characterized the way I look at the world. Like most kids, I enjoyed making pictures and as I grew older I kept drawing, leaning more and more into art, in spite of an expectation that I would hew to tradition and attend a liberal arts college. But that route held no interest for me. After a few blind alleys and bumps in the road, I enrolled in an art school. That was a gift; plenty of people who would thrive in a creative environment never get the chance to experience it because finances or obligations prohibit it. Art school was invigorating but after graduating I had to make a living, which meant relegating art to the sidelines of my life. Having a child left even less time for making art.
But I never stopped looking and thinking about what I saw. Wherever they appeared, colors and textures were noted and analyzed, shapes and forms were admired, and lines were studied. Whether it was a landscape, a piece of clothing, a chair, a face – anything could be a vehicle for appreciation and consideration. Even the simple act of arranging objects in the house satisfied the aesthetic urge. However busy or preoccupied I was, the art gears kept turning.
Over the years I moved frequently and learned to invoke a feeling of home through the basic activity of putting things in places. Maybe the human instinct to arrange objects into some kind of order goes beyond practical necessities. The way we locate the things around us can satisfy deep aesthetic needs. Even in temporary spaces, setting down a few objects can transform a corner into a personal expression of beauty.
3. In a corner above the sink at a Bnb in Leiden…
4. …I made a small arrangement of objects.
Vignettes of found objects can reflect the moment, rooting current preoccupations into place. The objects I handle remind me that wherever I am, a core set of interests informs my identity. Making photographs exercises the same aesthetic urge.
As I gathered photographs for this post the story shifted from one about how the act of arranging and photographing one’s space keeps the artistic fires burning to one that considers the rolling narrative of experiences in various places where I lived and evolved. The unifying thread is the act of paying attention, of recognizing the beauty inherent in the everyday. Some photographs date from the 1970s and are worn with age, some are documentary, some reflect aesthetic concerns. The stories they tell you are surely different from the stories they tell me. We all see the world differently. That’s a good thing.
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5. A wacky little still life arranged on an old corner bookcase during my last year of college. Those are my shoes – gotta have red shoes. Don’t ask about the math, I have no idea what it means. I may still have the little ostrich and cow toys somewhere but Marilyn, the cowboy, the crayons, and the bottle of German soap bubbles are long gone.
6. A photo from the early 70s, just after I graduated from School of Visual Arts. The vintage utensils came from second hand stores. If this image looks a little familiar it may be because photographer Jan Groover exhibited a series of Kitchen Still Lifes in New York in 1979, some of which feature utensils. The photographs, which brought her well-deserved acclaim, were more complex and carefully thought-out than this casual composition. When I saw her work I felt an encouraging “Aha!” moment – my instincts were good even if my execution was lacking.
7. Around 1973 I moved into an old walk-up railroad flat in Hoboken, NJ, a small city across the river from Manhattan. The big city was too expensive for a recent art school graduate and Hoboken had not yet been discovered. Rents were affordable, especially in buildings like this one, which lacked central heat. On the left side of the gas stove the top folded back to reveal a single large burner. That was supposed to heat the entire apartment. It wasn’t enough for the frigid, northeastern winters so for three months a year, we curtained off the far two rooms and lived in the warm kitchen and the room next to it.
8. The Hoboken apartment was on the third floor of this building. Rent was $60 a month but Mr. Eng, the landlord, didn’t mind if we were late paying – he was grateful to have tenants who took care of their apartment. When I took this photo in 2008 the corner had hardly changed but Hoboken was completely different. It had become gentrified and was packed with new apartment buildings, hip restaurants and young professionals. My old building now has central heat and air conditioning. Rent is about $2,000/month, which may be a good deal for an apartment that’s a just quick ride away from Manhattan, even if it’s a one-bedroom walk-up.
9. Eleven years and two moves after the Hoboken apartment, putting things in places took on a whole new meaning. Here’s my newborn son surrounded by gifts from generous friends and relatives. What joy!
10. Skipping ahead another 17 years, this layered image was made at my comfortable Cape Cod home in rural New York, about 50 miles north of New York City. It was a cozy home with lovely gardens that I tended with enthusiasm. We parked in the driveway because the garage was crammed with pots and gardening tools. I bought my first digital camera, a 1.3 megapixel Sony Mavica that stored photos on floppy disks! Along with basic photo processing software, it was a clumsy setup compared to today’s options but it allowed me to explore and experiment.
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11. Shadow studies made around the same time. Always looking.
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12. It was the last house I would own. In this photo there’s an antique drop-leaf table from my parent’s house and a chair with a seat cover my father upholstered. On the table is a bouquet of wildflowers and garden blooms from the sunny backyard, frequented by deer and wild turkeys. The scene appears idyllic but it was a turbulent, difficult time and the sturdy, mid-century house with its rural setting provided a welcome measure of stability.
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13. Next was a one-room cottage on the Silvermine River in Connecticut. After returning to school for a Masters degree in social work I dove into my first post-grad job, working with seriously, persistently mentally ill adults. Schizophrenia defined my days, peace and quiet defined my nights. My marriage was over, my son was away at school, and I was gratefully settling into a space that was mine alone. The tiny cottage by the river was a refuge from which I built a new life.
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14. This is a collage of two black and white photos, one of a Great blue heron and one of an indigenous girl in traditional dress. I merged them together to express the freedom of taking flight united with the feeling of being secure in one’s own being. This was home: being rooted in place yet free to take wing.
15. A new job in Manhattan required four hours of commuting: I drove, parked, boarded a train, got off, threaded through tunnels to the subway, transferred to a different subway, emerged onto the street, walked to the office, passed through security, and took the elevator. This routine was not tenable! I found a rambling, high-ceiling, apartment in a prewar building on Staten Island, where rent was more affordable than Manhattan or Brooklyn. Now I could take the ferry to work! The cozy cottage by the river was exchanged for an airy apartment with lively urban views in three directions. To the west, a bell tower and late-nineteenth century homes, to the north, the vibrant New York harbor, and to the south, a handsome old gothic school. In this photo of a begonia cutting the bell tower is framed between the neck of the bottle and the edge of the leaf.
16. The new job required frequent overnight travel. Every time Pablo heard the sound of the suitcase wheels he ran and crouched in my shoes. (They look like men’s shoes but I like that style). He was one very unhappy cat – but soon he had another companion.
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17. Tea and toast in the morning, beach walks on weekends: now there were two of us. Lucky me. There was pleasure everywhere, even in recording quotidian moments around the house with my camera.
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18. An old Mahjong tile and a tiny ceramic rabbit that belonged to my mother when she was a child made a small still life on a bookshelf.
19. More changes loomed: unexpectedly, we lost our jobs within months of each other, through no fault of ours. As we began to collect unemployment, we dreaded the idea of finding new jobs in New York. We treasured our vacations and day trips away from a city that was wearing us down. Dreaming about leaving urban intensity behind, we thought about moving to the Pacific Northwest – but first, we needed some questions answered. Was there enough culture? Would we like the laid-back lifestyle? Was it really as beautiful as people said it was? So we flew across the country on a mission, visiting Mt. Rainier, the Olympic Rainforest, Rialto Beach, Whidbey Island, and Seattle’s Pike Place market. Yes, this was the place; it was wildly beautiful and more comfortable than we imagined. We said our goodbyes to family and friends as we engineered the big move. On a winter afternoon six weeks before we left, I photographed this view from our apartment.
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20. Across the country we flew, to a cozy aerie in the trees in Kirkland, a city just across Lake Washington from Seattle. We were Pacific Northwest novices; the strangely friendly people, the impossibly tall, dark forests, the tedious gray winter weather, the clean streets and orderly flow of traffic – it was all so new. Following familiar routines like morning tea and setting out feathers and shells from Atlantic beaches helped ease the transition.
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21. We don’t remember where we found the doll’s hand and the frog but they were a happy pair, sitting on a desk in the Kirkland apartment.
22. We moved once more, this time because we no longer had to be near Seattle for work and wanted to live in a more rural environment. We found a quiet, affordable cottage for rent on an island halfway between Seattle and Vancouver, Canada. After moving in we got to know Doe-a-deer, who clearly knew the place well.
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23. Things in places, once again: I made an odd still life with a toy ladder, necklaces, an old bottle and scissors. A cup from a favorite cafe sat on the computer desk for weeks, and keepsakes like my grandmother’s silver thimble in a woven basket were tucked into drawers. Home.
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24. It’s not antique and surely isn’t authentic but we love Bobo and Evelyn, the broken African mask I bought in Kirkland (there should be two birds on top). We like the way the strand of leathery leaves (actually a necklace) suits these two characters. Someday we could to move again but there are no plans for that now! We’re happy where we are. Paying attention. Putting things in places. Appreciating our lives.
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“Paying attention is work of the most rewarding kind. It connects us to the incredible intricacy of life, the indescribable beauty and mystery of the beings we share our home with, and the wonder and the heartbreak of existence. All it requires is standing still and looking, or crouching down and looking, or laying on your back and looking, or walking and looking. Just looking. There is little that is any more important right now than knowing this world, in all its beauty and brokenness.”
Thank you for unrolling the thread of your esthetic life for us, dear Lynn. It sounds all so consistent and steady against all adversities. This underlines the seriousness of your engagement in photography (which never stood in question anyway 🙂).
To all the thoughtfulness in your words the pictures relate perfectly, I love reading, looking and thinking about all this appealing to me. I find numbers of statements exactly describing my own view on life. And I find no compromises in the quality of your photos at all.
The only thing disturbing my ease is understanding that I always sleep too well: there never is the opportunity of rising so early to achieve such state of mind like you, leading to photographs so especially atmospheric like yours here.
🙂 It’s not really surprising that you found some of these ideas or statements exactly described your own views but I’m glad you said that.
The early morning state I talked about could happen at any time of day; it was more about a fuzzy in-between state, like before the coffee has taken effect. When I lived in the zen community it was something people thought and talked about, this state of mind that is more open. It was easier to see it on days when we woke up TOO early and meditated for an hour before engaging in daily tasks. The will seems less active at that time. Hard to talk about! Thank you, Ule, it’s so good to hear from you. 🙂
What a girl you are! Thanks so much for sharing this Lynn. You are amazing (I already knew that). Such a talented person .. and to think you used to travel four hours to work! I could never ever have done that .. There are so many wonderful shots in this collection. Beauties!
Aw, thank you, Julie. Well, the long commute was worth it for a time, while I looked for a better solution. I knew I would move when I took that job. It got me out of a bad situation of negative politics at work after the “nice boss” was forced out and replaced by the “not-nice boss.” It’s really nice to hear that you enjoyed this post since it’s a departure from the usual fare here. I’m playing with doing more of these personal pieces.
A wonderful personal essay. Thanks for taking us along for the views and the ride. In keeping with my out-of-order viewing of your posts, and going back (or forward?) to the Feb. 14/22 post that I viewed also today… The different things we bring to the meaning of words or viewing of an image. In this post, 12., you mentioned that it might look idyllic, but to me it definitely didn’t, and the next ones in 13. immediately did. And it sounds like you were more content at 13’s location too. I’m not sure if it’s something in the composition that you captured in 12. or if it’s an association of my own, but I don’t find it welcoming, and I would have gladly chosen to live in the rented cozy cottage by the river. Oh wait, I think I do live in one of those. 😀 LOL
I’m interested in your opinion, Sheri, since you’re a writer and I sense you’re honest. This memoir business is something I’ve wanted to do for many years but I hesitate to put it into such a public place – yet I think there’s value in doing that. I go back and forth about it. Limiting the story to just captions under photos seemed like one way to put the material together without being overwhelmed. And without overwhelming the audience! Does that make sense?
It’s really interesting (damn, there must be another word!) that you didn’t see #12 as idyllic – you sensed the trouble I guess. If I wanted to analyze #12 & #13 I can see that the light in the first one is obscured but in the second two, the light shines brightly. Simple as that. Thanks so much for your insight! And the laugh. My cozy cottage was a raised one in a flood zone. I was actually evacuated from it once but the water receded just in time. I imagine you have plenty of stories…
Also in #12 the placement of the curtain seemed to veil or hide something. Kind of like when a person puts their hand to their face when they are uncomfortable saying something?
I just read a great article on the difference between journaling and memoir. Journaling is rambling and personal, of course. But I liked their differentiation of memoir as a curated collection of memories and stories that work together to communicate something to the reader – usually growth oriented or to some educational purpose. I think you’ve chosen a way with photos and captions to curate the experiences. In my opinion it works well, just as I’ve commented in the past that I enjoy your photo essay style as a potential wonderful publication – if collected – to show PNW area. You could certainly pull together a memoir in the same manner, and it would be lovely and somewhat different. Many memoirs contain photographs, but from what I know of your life experience so far, creating one that’s threaded by images would strike me as completely appropriate to bring together your story for others to relate to and perhaps understand the most truly. Thanks for asking my opinion. I’m honored. 🙂 And yes, I’ll always to my best to be honest when asked such a question. It’s important!
That’s interesting about the curtain placement. One can read so much into images. When I took that picture I was probably about halfway out of a bad situation. And I had a sense of a future that I was keeping to myself.
The memoir definition is a good one…actually I had an idea for a kind of memoir/show that would consist of a series of fragments, texts and images from different times of my life, arranged on white walls, gallery-style. The idea is decades old! It could morph into a book, it just has to get done. 😉 Teju Cole’s ‘Blind Spot’ is a little like that. There are bits and pieces in several or more places around here that I’ve wanted to pull together for a long time. It’s just daunting. Maybe if I broke it down into volumes. 🙂
Thank you again. It’s good mulling this over with you. 🙂
I like the gallery show idea too. Volumes would make sense, by area or season or, again some theme or idea to curate the collection by. Definitely easier to get started that way. Can be nice for an audience too since smaller volumes are less in cost and they can purchase them gradually if they want more.
I didn’t consciously consider the curtain/veil thing on first viewing but when we had different associations for the images, I considered what it was that made that one feel unwelcoming or not at ease to me, and along with the tonal coloration, the curtain obscuring part of the room is the major factor for me not to rest there.
I’ve often found that others see things I revealed in my work that I miss, like the curtain obscuring/veiling something. It was part of what I enjoyed about showing my work and having live openings. It’s fascinating (and somewhat frightening – but good, I think) to hear how others respond. I revealed far more in my fine art pieces than I realized at the time, but it was meant to be Expressionism, so I’m pleased it carried my interior outward to my audience. …and eventually to me, I suppose. 😀
Ah, it’s nice of you to think all this through. Volumes, smaller volumes, yes. And I like small helpings of food, myself. 😉
Yes, it’s natural that other people will see things that we don’t, I like that. Without feedback we wouldn’t have the opportunity to see things like what you saw in that photo, which enriched my own understanding. So thank you again!
bluebrightly 
Thank you for unrolling the thread of your esthetic life for us, dear Lynn. It sounds all so consistent and steady against all adversities. This underlines the seriousness of your engagement in photography (which never stood in question anyway 🙂).
To all the thoughtfulness in your words the pictures relate perfectly, I love reading, looking and thinking about all this appealing to me. I find numbers of statements exactly describing my own view on life. And I find no compromises in the quality of your photos at all.
The only thing disturbing my ease is understanding that I always sleep too well: there never is the opportunity of rising so early to achieve such state of mind like you, leading to photographs so especially atmospheric like yours here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 It’s not really surprising that you found some of these ideas or statements exactly described your own views but I’m glad you said that.
The early morning state I talked about could happen at any time of day; it was more about a fuzzy in-between state, like before the coffee has taken effect. When I lived in the zen community it was something people thought and talked about, this state of mind that is more open. It was easier to see it on days when we woke up TOO early and meditated for an hour before engaging in daily tasks. The will seems less active at that time. Hard to talk about! Thank you, Ule, it’s so good to hear from you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
There will be more to come soon, promised 🙂.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a girl you are! Thanks so much for sharing this Lynn. You are amazing (I already knew that). Such a talented person .. and to think you used to travel four hours to work! I could never ever have done that .. There are so many wonderful shots in this collection. Beauties!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw, thank you, Julie. Well, the long commute was worth it for a time, while I looked for a better solution. I knew I would move when I took that job. It got me out of a bad situation of negative politics at work after the “nice boss” was forced out and replaced by the “not-nice boss.” It’s really nice to hear that you enjoyed this post since it’s a departure from the usual fare here. I’m playing with doing more of these personal pieces.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A wonderful personal essay. Thanks for taking us along for the views and the ride. In keeping with my out-of-order viewing of your posts, and going back (or forward?) to the Feb. 14/22 post that I viewed also today… The different things we bring to the meaning of words or viewing of an image. In this post, 12., you mentioned that it might look idyllic, but to me it definitely didn’t, and the next ones in 13. immediately did. And it sounds like you were more content at 13’s location too. I’m not sure if it’s something in the composition that you captured in 12. or if it’s an association of my own, but I don’t find it welcoming, and I would have gladly chosen to live in the rented cozy cottage by the river. Oh wait, I think I do live in one of those. 😀 LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m interested in your opinion, Sheri, since you’re a writer and I sense you’re honest. This memoir business is something I’ve wanted to do for many years but I hesitate to put it into such a public place – yet I think there’s value in doing that. I go back and forth about it. Limiting the story to just captions under photos seemed like one way to put the material together without being overwhelmed. And without overwhelming the audience! Does that make sense?
It’s really interesting (damn, there must be another word!) that you didn’t see #12 as idyllic – you sensed the trouble I guess. If I wanted to analyze #12 & #13 I can see that the light in the first one is obscured but in the second two, the light shines brightly. Simple as that. Thanks so much for your insight! And the laugh. My cozy cottage was a raised one in a flood zone. I was actually evacuated from it once but the water receded just in time. I imagine you have plenty of stories…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Also in #12 the placement of the curtain seemed to veil or hide something. Kind of like when a person puts their hand to their face when they are uncomfortable saying something?
I just read a great article on the difference between journaling and memoir. Journaling is rambling and personal, of course. But I liked their differentiation of memoir as a curated collection of memories and stories that work together to communicate something to the reader – usually growth oriented or to some educational purpose. I think you’ve chosen a way with photos and captions to curate the experiences. In my opinion it works well, just as I’ve commented in the past that I enjoy your photo essay style as a potential wonderful publication – if collected – to show PNW area. You could certainly pull together a memoir in the same manner, and it would be lovely and somewhat different. Many memoirs contain photographs, but from what I know of your life experience so far, creating one that’s threaded by images would strike me as completely appropriate to bring together your story for others to relate to and perhaps understand the most truly. Thanks for asking my opinion. I’m honored. 🙂 And yes, I’ll always to my best to be honest when asked such a question. It’s important!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s interesting about the curtain placement. One can read so much into images. When I took that picture I was probably about halfway out of a bad situation. And I had a sense of a future that I was keeping to myself.
The memoir definition is a good one…actually I had an idea for a kind of memoir/show that would consist of a series of fragments, texts and images from different times of my life, arranged on white walls, gallery-style. The idea is decades old! It could morph into a book, it just has to get done. 😉 Teju Cole’s ‘Blind Spot’ is a little like that. There are bits and pieces in several or more places around here that I’ve wanted to pull together for a long time. It’s just daunting. Maybe if I broke it down into volumes. 🙂
Thank you again. It’s good mulling this over with you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the gallery show idea too. Volumes would make sense, by area or season or, again some theme or idea to curate the collection by. Definitely easier to get started that way. Can be nice for an audience too since smaller volumes are less in cost and they can purchase them gradually if they want more.
I didn’t consciously consider the curtain/veil thing on first viewing but when we had different associations for the images, I considered what it was that made that one feel unwelcoming or not at ease to me, and along with the tonal coloration, the curtain obscuring part of the room is the major factor for me not to rest there.
I’ve often found that others see things I revealed in my work that I miss, like the curtain obscuring/veiling something. It was part of what I enjoyed about showing my work and having live openings. It’s fascinating (and somewhat frightening – but good, I think) to hear how others respond. I revealed far more in my fine art pieces than I realized at the time, but it was meant to be Expressionism, so I’m pleased it carried my interior outward to my audience. …and eventually to me, I suppose. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, it’s nice of you to think all this through. Volumes, smaller volumes, yes. And I like small helpings of food, myself. 😉
Yes, it’s natural that other people will see things that we don’t, I like that. Without feedback we wouldn’t have the opportunity to see things like what you saw in that photo, which enriched my own understanding. So thank you again!
LikeLiked by 1 person